During the Sefer Yetzirah Study my life was almost entirely focused on theory and practice of Qabalah. A typical day would be spent ''reading'' the Sefer Yetzirah, conjuring archangels, researching/meditating on letters and pathwalking. Supporting reading was mainly in sciences - biopsychology and endocrinology specifically - but all of it was tied back to Qabalah and understanding how the letters of the Alefbeit manifest in the world. Pathwalking was a process by which I and others in the group would conjure the letter itself on to and sanctify an actual physical path and then walk along it communing with the spirit of the letter through the phenomena it ''caused''.
My main focus during the intermediary period of 2007-2010 was catching up on a lot of reading in philosophy, history and literature that I hadn't completed because I was training to be a biochemist. I was also reintroducing theatre into my life - as a teacher and as a professional actor. Although magick was still a very important part of what I did it was definitely playing second fiddle. My motivation for a lot of the reading - Plato, Iamblichus, history of ancient civilizations, etc - was in order to get a better grasp of [the roots of] magick but I can't say I was a pure magician during this time as much as I was an aspiring Renaissance intellectual thespian, a fine but important line that I had crossed, now way more Marlowe than Fludd.
During the Gentlemen for Jupiter and Edward Kelley's Tower phase theatre was blended with magick for the most part such that nearly every play I wrote, directed or acted in was an active study and conjuring of Jupiterian themes - theatrical rituals where magick was central. Other planetary forces were also conjured and when I moved into the Tower the focus moved towards Venus and Mercury. Having residency there I considered it my duty to continue serious magickal research and Saturn began to dominate when the work culminated in the various ''time travel'' experiments of the 231 Gates Project and the conjuring of a variety of ''spirits'' - elementals, demons, ghosts, angels, Enochian entities et al - in support of this.
The period after 2014 - 2017 saw a somewhat necessary dip in magickal endeavours due to the recovery time necessary after sanity testing experiences in the Tower. My experiences were/have been mainly limited to astral projection, planetary theatrical ritual, prosperity magick, metaphysical research and the continuing dialogue with Raziel. I have made a series of real world presentations on the Metabolism of Time and have gathered a small group of students for continuing the tradition. My non-magickal theatrical and acting endeavours have increased as a result of the prosperity work.
In comparing the Life Magickal with the Life Theatrical or Intellectual during the Sefer Yetzirah Study phase there were a lot less people involved in my life: my job(s) afforded me a great deal of private personal study time; my second University degree was spent in relative social isolation with a lot of communion with nature during pathwalking experiments; I was single-ish but with a series of excellent muses. During the intermediary phase where my magickal pursuits dipped a little I was surrounded by well-educated, well-travelled people (students and teachers) in a different country and I ended up in an intellectual arms race. Social pressure from colleagues definitely skewed my reading and philosophy and although I am not decrying that influence they are one of the main reasons that magick lost its centrality. The role of social pressure in rewarding various types of transactions and punishing others (alongside the naturally daunting subject matter itself) is one of the reasons why magick has been so heavily conflated with other topics in our international community. Magick regained its centrality when I integrated it with the new subjects and/or knowledge when they were harnessed or digested if you like but not when I pretended something else was in fact magick.
Another important influence has been the Gods - the two phases that were dominated by magickal work were also dominated by Gods - in the SY study phase I worked incredibly closely with Aphrodite and in the G4J/Tower phase with Enlil. Both times I used Liber Astarte vel Berylli to fully bond with them. Having that relationship front and centre was so essential to the success of my magickal aims it is something I have to consider as I renew the direction of my work.
The final point that comes to mind now is the target itself - during SY study the aim was clear, once that was finished I was left a little adrift until the G4J whose own target was perhaps too ambitious for many of the Gentlemen to complete and which for me was eventually subsumed by the challenges presented by life in the tower. Although I have been focused and stayed relatively on topic (time travel) in the aftermath I haven't ever clearly stated my aim and my conversations with Raziel and astral explorations have been way more haphazard than I would like.
- reduce number of extraneous people
- establish strong relationship with chosen God
- clearly define aim
I am going to leave this here for now and while the first point is easy to achieve, I will explore the tricky thinking behind and my problems with the last two in the next couple of posts as a way of clearing my thoughts on this.